Undeniable Facts About Sarah Palin

Thirty four undeniable facts about Sarah Palin.

1.  If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Sarah Palin.

2.  Sarah Palin once round-house-kicked Chuck Norris in the face, Chuck Apologised.

3.  Sarah Palin doesn’t shoot animals, she stares at them till they commit suicide. 

4.  The air around Sarah Palin stays a crisp 58 degrees.

5.  Sarah Palin tans from the inside out.

6.  Every morning bears bring Sarah Palin wolf paws for breakfast.

7.  Sarah Palins doesn’t need a copy of the policy statement, she carries a moose gun.

8.  Sarah Palin’s mattress came with no tags.

9.  Sarah Palin is what Willis was talking about.

10. Sarah Palin is what Ellen Degeress was crying about.

11. Sarah Palin is why David Letterman wears no pants.

12. Sarah Palin makes Barack stutter.

13. Sarah Palin makes foreign dictators feel all cozy inside.

14. Sarah Palin’s plane has no left wing.

15. Sarah Palin can hear the voices in your head.

16. Sarah Palin knows your imaginary friend, and has turned the against you.

17. Sarah Palin doesn’t by gas. The oil under feet transforms to fuel as she walks.

18. Russians can see Sarah Palin from their house, but they know to turn away.

19. Sarah Palin does not know the definition of mercy.

20. There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Sarah Palin’s computer. Sarah Palin is always in control.

21. Sarah Palin can sneeze with her eyes open.

22. Sarah Palin can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.

23. Sarah Palin is suing Myspace for taking the name of what she calls everything around you.

24. Sarah Palin destroyed the periodic table, because she only recognizes the element of surprise.

25. Sarah Palin can kill two stones with one bird.

26. When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Sarah Palin.

27. Sarah Palin doesn’t read books. She stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

28. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Sarah Palin has allowed to live.

29. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Sarah Palin.

30. Sarah Palin does not sleep. She waits.

31. Sarah Palin’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

32. Sarah Palin can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

33. Sarah Palin can slam a revolving door.

34. Sarah Palin does not get frostbite. Sarah Palin bites frost.

 

 

Ok anything to add? LMAO

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~ by Leonidas on September 17, 2008.

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